Post Call

Soooo I'm post call today. Having breakfast. Probably gotta go back to work soon (yes, that's my life).

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Just How Many Frikken Dragons Are There Anyway?

See that? That is exactly how far I have gotten into the latest book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, A Dance with Dragons. And already it has kneed me in the crotch.

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Mental Lethargy

Juggling between doctoring and life has my mind blocked out to EVERYTHING, leaving me miserable.

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All Hallows Read 2011

Hey there everybody. I know, I know: Halloween is just around the corner, and I should have posted this list a hell of a long time ago so that y'all can get these books and read them. But the way I see it All Hallows Read is supposed to promote reading not just for Halloween, but all year long. So here goes: these are some books you can pick up to get into the spirit of Halloween.

Coraline - Neil Gaiman

First up, two Neil Gaiman books. Why yes, I am a fan! This one is the ultra creepy nightmare fuel inducing trauma causing Coraline, which has been made into an admittedly not that less creepy film version. This particular edition has some crazy illustrations that I really did not need to see in it, thus making the book a great gift to any kid you want to traumatise for life.

The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman

 The second Neil Gaiman book on this list is The Graveyard Book. Basically, Neil Gaiman has said that his favorite book as a kid was The Jungle Book, and was kind of disappointed kids nowadays only know the Disney version and not the original version he read. So he set out to write a similar book to both help show kids what they're missing, and as a shout-out to Rudyard Kipling. So while Mowgli was abandoned in the jungle to be raised by wolves, Nobody Owens was abandoned in a graveyard to be raised by ghosts. This is awesome stuff.

Haunted - Chuck Palahniuk

 Okay Haunted isn't actually scary. Nope, not scary at all. The feeling you'd most likely experience reading this is probably nausea and disgust. I'll say no more lest I spoil things. To be honest I get why a book that causes disgust would be associated with fear; they're both related. They're caused by things that are shocking, that are beyond what we know, and things that we reject in our normal everyday life. But to me that seems kind of cheap. It's like having a crush on a hot girl but fucking her less attractive cousin instead. It's still worth a read, though.

American Psycho - Bret Easton Ellis

 Scary? American Psycho? Well, yes. Reading this, you get the sense that nothing is real. The characters have no sense of time, place, and person. They don't know whether something has or has not happened. And neither do you. Since the story is told from the main titular character's point of view, you get a sense of what it's like inside a psycho's head; or maybe just somebody who wishes he was a psycho. Uh, what?

Anything by H.P Lovecraft

 I'll admit to being a Lovecraft fan. I absolutely love stuff from the Cthulhu Mythos, and everything else Lovecraft has written. There's something not entirely explainable hidden behind every story that gets to me, and once I'm done with a story I'll start to wonder why exactly it was that I felt not so safe sitting in my room. Very highly recommended.

House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski

 House of Leaves is the most discussed book on this list. Some are arguing that it isn't horror at all. Some are arguing about the meaning behind all the lists and bibliographic references in the book, and even more are arguing that the book is the house. Whatever it is, the events and descriptions described in this book (house?) especially with regards to the minotaur, are brick-shittingly scary. And the moment the book's formatting goes crazy (you'll know it when you see it), the shit really hits the fan. Seriously, get this one, if nothing else.

World War Z: An Oral History of The Zombie War - Max Brooks

 To be honest I'm not scared at all by zombies. Especially the slow ones. Oh no, I'll have to shuffle along faster if I want to escape! And what about the fast ones? Now there's a threat, but not really anything to shiver under your blanket about. Still, if you love zombie stories this is worth a read.

Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stephen King

 I actually wanted to post IT, since it was the first book I read that scared me shitless, but for the life of me I can't find it. This is not IT, but rather a collection of Stephen King's short stories but hey this works too. There are a few stories in here that are genuinely scary, and quite a lot that aren't, but the recommendation stands: find a Stephen King horror novel. You'll be glad you did (or not).

I guess that's it. I hope I'll have more material to post for next year's All Hallows Read. So what do you think, scary enough, too lighweight? Have suggestions of your own? Let me know in the comments below! Until then goodnight out there...whatever you are.

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Vapidity and Nothingness : I am not entirely sure what vapidity means

Ooooh, look, Vapidity means "jejunity: the quality of being vapid and unsophisticated" (source.) and Vapid means "lacking liveliness, dull" (source.) in turn. Yay!

Wait, don't go! Post is not over!

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Okay Emo Post.

I guess I shouldn't be writing this.

Lately me and Farra have been going out a lot. Our last date was last night, and the date before that was the night before. I'm not complaining; the only complaint I have is that we're not together for every waking second. I really miss her when she's not there. Am I being incredibly needy and clingy? Yes, I suppose. I'm sorry, I just love her so.

But here's the thing. The more I love her the more I grow insecure. The more I see her as completely perfect, the absolute one for me, the more I feel like I'm not worthy. It's as if at any moment she'll see what a horrible choice she's made in loving me and will immediately seek out somebody who's more worth her time. I don't want that, yet what can I do? I'm really afraid of losing her. Even when there's no immediate threat. I don't want to lose her.

Ah, I'm rambling. This is stupid. Okay I'mma shut up now.

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Good Night, Sweet Prince

Find more artists like Black Robot at Myspace Music

Okay fair warning: My mind is kinda all over the place and my heart is...well, in Setia Alam. So sorry if this doesn't come across as entirely coherent.

Okay as most of my friends know I drive a red BMW all over the place. What most of my friends probably don't know is that I now used to drive a red BMW.

The vehicle in question.

 So I say used to drive now because it's been sold. Yes, the iconic signature vehicle of the Teejmeister has been sold off. Yesterday, in fact. The car is no longer in the lot.

 

Not pictured: Sadness.

Okay I get that it's an old car, and it requires almost as much attention as a dying man in ICU to even run properly, but you'll forgive the car-shaped hole in my heart and for some reason Farra's 'The Parking Lot Is Empty' bumrushing my head. It wasn't my first car, but it was the one I'd driven the longest. All throughout CUCMS too.

And through more than a few parking lots. Which are empty.

Ah, the faint nostalgia. A lot of fond memories in the car. Most of them, I'm not at liberty to say.

View from one side of the memories...

View from the other.

My dear sweetie also had to choke back sobs of grief at the news that some dude had purchased the rights to dear old Bubub (her pet name for the car). And speaking of my baby, while clearing out the car I realised just how much of the stuff inside is her stuff. If leaving stuff in a man's personal space is marking her territory, then it's no wonder she's the only chick who's ever been in there.

So sweet :-) She made these for the car.

Ahem. So about the car. It's a BMW, red, handles okay, lacks acceleration, it's a...318? I dunno, man, details.

'Nuff said.

Ah well it's been fun. So now I'm driving my sister's Myvi around, it handles slightly less but accelerates like a mutha. That's a temporary set-up until I get my new car. Hopefully we can make more memories inside it.

View from the HUD.

And there you have it. A pretty crappy euology, but aside from the memories associated with it, it's a pretty crappy car. Only thing that sold it was it was an antique, of sorts. New owner's going to modify it, pimp it right the fuck up. Good luck with that. Just take care of it and I'll be happy.

EDIT: I totally forgot to mention. Farra has always expressed a desire to drive Bubub for as long as I can remember, but I never let her due to her not having a license. Well she got hers recently, and I went full 180 on my stance on her driving; I wanted her to drive, really badly. But we kept putting it off, until the night before when we had a short date. On the way back, I handed her the keys and let her drive. It was an exhilarating experience, and a really touching and sweet moment; that the car's last moment was with the girl I loved. I regret not having a clear picture of her in the driver's seat. Well, the new car's first experience shall be of her driving. That, I hope, can come true.

By Unknown with 2 comments

MY BOOK CAME IN THE MAIL, I CAME TOO

ALL CAPS POST WARNING!!!!!

COME HOME FROM GYM, FIND AMAZON BOX

GET OVEREXCITED, RIP OPEN PACKAGING

FIND COPY OF A DANCE WITH DRAGONS

FREAK THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD ARRIVE THIS EARLY

PINCH SELF TO SEE IF DREAMING

NOT DREAMING

HOLLER BATTLECRY IN DINING ROOM, MAID FREAKS THE FUCK OUT, CALLS POLICE

REASSURE COPS I'M NOT NUTS, JUST OVEREXCITED

SNAP THIS PICTURE

ZOMGWTFOHGODFAPFAPFAPFAP

IMMEDIATELY START READING

p/s: I apologise for that, but I was seriously that excited.

By Unknown with 3 comments

I Haven't Abandoned My Blog, What Are You Talking About? Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Hey. So I realise I haven't done much writing here. No poems, no philosophy, not even a drug fuelled rant about how God and the pigeons are one, trust the pigeons. Literally a blank! Like, like, well, a blank!

Yes, yes, make fun of my lack of vocabulary.

I have, in the past, ignored my blog due to a busy schedule. I now also ignore my blog due to a busy schedule, but instead of being busy  trying to cram more knowledge in my noggin for an upcoming examination, I am now busy trying to have as much fun as possible.

Strange? Yes. Confused? Good. Keep calm and carry on.

Love this poster by the way.

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I Haven't Abandoned My Blog, What Are You Talking About?

Okay so it may look like I've gotten really really lazy with the updates but I've actually been really busy with other stuff. Now I'm sort of not supposed to be busy with other stuff but I kinda am, with, uh, other stuff. So this is my first post in, like, forever.

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Short Rant: I, Pirate, Would Like To Lodge a Formal Complaint.

Short one today. Yes I know I haven't been here a while and I don't intend to stay for too long, but this got to me good.

As you guys owning iOS devices know, 'jailbreaking' your device liberates it from Apple's Big Brother-like control, allowing you to install pirated versions of apps. Yes, I realise there's more to it than that, but I have a hard time believing Malaysians care beyond 'I CAN HAS FREE APPZ DURR HURR.' I find it easier to believe there are Malaysians out there who read, even if it is limited to just the signboards on the highway.

It is perhaps obvious here this is a vitriolic post. Sorry.

Anyway. Whilst browsing the app store for some appz, (durr hurr) I found one I was interested in. I won't say which app, but suffice to say you can use it to buy stuff. Hopefully that's general enough. So there I was, checking out the screenshots and the description, then I went to the reviews. That's where my animosity comes from.

Quite a few of them had rated the app one star out of five, with SOME words in ALL CAPS as if a tiny MARIACHI was dancing ON THEIR capslock key. I did want to see what was wrong with it, so I read the review. As it turns out, the reviewer was criticising the app maker disallowing the use of paypal to make your purchase if your device was jailbroken. The reviewer went on to emphasize, in ALL CAPS, how jailbreaking was LEGAL.

First off, yes, jailbreaking has been ruled by the US Supreme Court to be legal. I was surprised to find that out, but apparently our friend here is right. Fair enough. But what would you be doing with a jailbroken device in the first place? Of course, so you can play all seventeen versions of Angry Birds without having to pay a single cent. Like I said, jailbreaking allows a lot of things but I doubt anybody knows or even cares. So how about all those apps, or IPA files you have on that device? Obviously the developer never meant to release it as a free IPA file (or why bother charging 0.99 USD for it on the app store in the first place), so all those twenty eight Angry Birds apps you have are basically stolen property. Whoops! So the truth is, you are a pirate.

That's not all bad. A lot of my games are pirated, but since Steam and other online delivery game stores, I find myself with more original versions of games. And hey, if I enjoy it enough, I'll go out and buy the original game and even DLC too (such was the case with Dragon Age). Still, whenever I hear something I don't particularly like about a game (The DRM on Assassin's Creed 2, or the mediocre reviews of New Vegas) I immediately flick the 'Fuck This Shit' switch in my brain and torrent the mutha. I'm not saying being a pirate is all bad - well, okay, it is, but what you do with your money is no concern of mine and is not what I'm here for.

No, it's you complaining that the company doesn't support pirates.

Admit it. The only reason you went all Scofield on your iPhone is to play all thirty two versions of Angry Birds for free. So once you do that, you actually give up the right to complain about shit. It's not like you're paying for the fucking app. Fuck, the app I'm talking about? It's free. FREE. EFF-ARR-EE-EE. It costs as much as air does these days, or your mom back when she was a hundred years younger and a hundred kilos lighter. The devs made a perfectly good working app, and made it available for FREE, even to those who don't pirate shit, and you who never paid for anything ever just waltz up here and complain that you're not being paid attention to.

The nerve.

I could go on-I have, actually, but I cut it out. There is no point in this; I just wanted to express amazement at the sheer SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT that rules the Malaysian hivemind. I thought I knew how far it went, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. Well, amazement expressed. Rant over.

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Diary Rant: Until It's Gone

I used to think my hand phone was, while useful, expendable. Nobody contacted me unless they wanted something. Useful in the events of needing instant communication, but that was it. I didn't find myself saying 'Oh, I couldn't live without my phone' like some people are fond of gushing. I needed it, true, but I could certainly live without it, and sometimes wished I did.

But then I had a girlfriend.

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Regarding Podcasts

Hey everybody. I was supposed to update yesterday but I kinda had a lot of things on my mind. But I’m not here to speak of that, I’ve decided. Too dull and depressing. I’ve decided to let everyone know what I’m listening to on my iPod: podcasts.

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Worst Start To The Week

Hey y'all. I kinda get why I didn't update so often previously; takes a lot of time and dedication to do so. Well I should be able to multitask. I'm a doctor after all.

Speaking of which, I have never felt more inadequate as a doctor before today. We had ward rounds today and Dr Sabri simply walked out on us since we didn't cover the patients we were supposed to. Two of them were mine (in fact he walked out after I said I hadn't clerked the patient yet). It was kinda a stroke of bad luck; he always did the rounds in one order, and I clerked fully half the patients I was supposed to (six, which makes me look really fucking stupid) in that order but then he went the other way, towards the beds I hadn't clerked yet...disaster ensued.

I'm really hoping there are no lasting consequences to this. The last thing I need is the rest of the lecturers bearing down on me again. I'm trying my best, but it just isn't enough. I'm at the stage where I'm supposed to know the things I don't, if that makes sense. I have to already know certain things which I took for granted back when I didn't take my studies seriously, and now I should be learning new things on top of catching up. It's hard, and sometimes I wish some slack could be cut my way. Though to be honest, it's entirely my fault. I should have done this, should have done that. Shouldn't have done this, shouldn't have done that. I'm twenty four years old. And already I have regrets I wish with all my heart I could undo. Is it surprising I have grey hair already?

If it's any consolation to myself, I love fiction. I love making shit up like Dedushka Igor did in the past post. This writing business is something I enjoy, not because I want to shove ideas in front of an audience (I have the Filosophy Friday column for that) but because...well, it's fun. It's fun to imagine people doing things. Things I wish I could do, yanno? Like hang gliding, or jet skiing, or hiding a corpse. Ah, it's great to imagine.

But once I'm done I'm back in reality, back to the regrets, back to the realisation that I am still nowhere near the vicinity of 'As good as I should be'. And that kinda sucks, but we all need a reality check. We had the spinning top in Inception, mine is just...looking at the mirror. Okay, depressing. Let's stop before somebody (me) gets hurt.

By Unknown with 2 comments

On The Origin Of Vampires And Werewolves: Based On Something I Told Farra Fender Out Of Boredom

(Note: Dedushka means Grandfather in Russian, and Babushka means Grandmother. I’m pretty certain Poludnitsa means She-Devil. I know Bog means God. Mudak means idiot. Belyat means bastard…I think. Drochit means ‘wank’, or ‘wanker’. I’m not sure if the old Slavs spoke what we now know as Russian, or if Transylvania even had Slavs, or were anywhere near the vicinity, but for the sake of comedy and Rule of Funny, I ignore all pretense to accuracy.)

In the gloomy countryside of Transylvania, where the wolves howl and the children of the night make their ‘vonderful’ music, sits a small village, its name lost to time. In one of the village hovels, old Igor sits in his chair smoking a pipe, gently puffing on the smoke and blowing circles, guessing to himself where they might go. As one went up to encircle the full moon outside his window, making him laugh at his own awesomeness, he heard footsteps running toward him at full speed from the rooms where his grandchildren slept. He groaned. It was storytime, and apparently Dedushka drew the short straw tonight.

“Dedushkaaaaaaa,” the children yelled as they ran into the room, shattering the peace as only insolent children knew how. “Story, story story,” the yelled and chanted, running around screaming as if they were possessed by the unholy demons that wandered the night.

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Posting For The Sake Of Posting

Because this blog needed one.

Seriously, though, it's languished untouched for quite a while. So I thought I'd forget about trying to write deep meaningful things, and just write what comes to mind. I can thank my sweetheart Farra for that. Reading her blog is a pleasure, and she just writes what comes to mind anyway. Aside from some password protected posts (which contain sensitive information) most of stuff is fun to read.

It would be horrible of me to say that and not provide a link, so...here. http://saidatulfarra.wordpress.com/

So...what about today, that's significant enough to warrant a blog post?

Well I could start with this quote: "Saya tak creative macam @MasterTeej yang kuat mengayat pakai ayat power kebabom tu" I think you know who said this, and where.

When I first read that, I laughed. I can't tell why. It amused me, for some reason, so we had a whole twitter conversation for a while. One thing led to another, and somehow Farra had helped me pick out a new blog template. It was cool and looked great, but didn't really work; despite its so called minimalistic design, it loaded slower than me in class. So I threw it out.

Then I tried to focus on writing my story, I think it's been due since 1942. However, y'all will apparently have to wait because...well, I couldn't get in the writing zone.

This is a more realistic reason as to why I don't write more often than 'I don't have time'. It's more 'I can't do it' than anything else. I don't know why, but when there's something bothering me I can't shut it out and go on like there's nothing wrong. Something IS wrong, and I can't let it go.

I had plans. I had ideas. And I had things I wanted to do and share. Now, because I feel too much, because I can't shut off for an instant that part which nags and worries, none of those things get done. Why am I like this? I hate being like this. I hate being in this situation.I thought I left all of this behind. Why is it still here?

I just wanted to be happy.

p/s: wah, completely random muttering. But at least it's something...

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NEWS POST: Further updates on my latest scribble

As you may have noticed, I have a link to your right just above the Google ad that says, "Archive of Stories and Ascended Scribbles". Go there, and you will see this:


Sometimes scribbles ascend to become coherent stories.

I write this because most of the time, I get an idea for a story, and scribble it down (see?) and it goes nowhere. I lose interest. I think it sucks too badly to get published. Whatever. That means the scribble never gets to be a story. It never ascends. It doesn't achieve Nirvana. That is exactly what happens to the titles I announce and then strike off. I can't do it. The characters have got the wrong guy. I'm not the one who gets to tell their story. These fictional people, they invade on my consciousness and tell me, 'I got something to say.' Most of the time they say it and walk off. Sometimes they tell me to tell their story. Sometimes I do. Most of the times, I don't. I say to them, sorry, wrong guy. Try James Cameron, space marine. You can try Neil Gaiman, Shadow. Or Alan Moore to you, Rorschach.

By Unknown with 2 comments

NEWS POST, or, Why Do I Keep Changing the blog design?

Because it sucked. Okay I log in today to post my poem (see previous entry) and find out a lot of things have been going on with Blogger. Suddenly the impossible is easy! Would that it were this easy to do medicine. Ah well. On the news, uh...

 - Changed the layout, and basically the whole blog template.

 -  Added an 'Archive' page over on your right, hope you see it.

 - Added a new poem.

 - Also hope to add friends' blogs and my sweet princess's link if they respond to this invitation.


I guess that's about it. Oh, frabjous day if they ever add an auto BGM feature. Not that it will ever happen of course, but I can dream, right?

Peace.

By Unknown with 3 comments

The Writing Process

My bro Zufar has pressured me to update more often, but for the life of me I can't get any writing done, between the exhaustion and class. So here is an update about my futile attempts to write something based on a picture I found (the one above, taken from http://2photo.ru/en/post/16762) while browsing the net. Its more about the writing process than an actual story, so I guess be prepared to read the actual story...some time in the distant future. It's a lot of fantasy, and steampunk, and sci-fi too I think, so, umm, yeah.

By Unknown with 4 comments

Story Cancellation

Blizzard Entertainment is proud to present its first global writing contest.  If you enjoy the Blizzard Entertainment universes and have the drive to pen fantasy fiction in them, here's your chance to shine.

Whether you conjure stories in your free time or write for a living, you're encouraged to participate. This contest is open to entrants from around the world, and will be judged by Blizzard Entertainment's own writers and masters of lore.

To enter, submit a 3,000 to 10,000 word story written in English and set in the Warcraft, StarCraft, or Diablo universe by April 12 and earn your chance to visit the Blizzard Entertainment headquarters and meet the writers and staff behind the lore seen in the games and books.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Lesson learned, my friends; never procrastinate. Shame. I thought they'd love my story too. It was supposed to be epic, with…ah, let's just forget about it.

In my life there are many of my shortcomings I am not proud of. The worst one is, however, that I am a quitter. I quit when the going gets tough. I quit when everybody tells me I can't do it. And I quit when I'm too lazy to do it. Now, again, I must say, I have to quit one final thing for a different resaon. I am quitting the Warcraft story in favor of a new one, because I can't finish it right now.

I say 'Quit' and not 'Postpone' because I have nearly 100mb of unfinished stories in my hard disk. I usually keep these, reminders of previous failures, and also notes that yes, I can, if I could just finish the damned things. Well, I am not quitting writing, not yet at any rate, but I am quitting the Warcraft story. Maybe one day I'll find the guts to finish it, and you'll get to see it, but not now. Now, I move on to different things. If you noticed below, somewhere I talked about writing a love story. That is what I will focus on next. Again, don't hold your breath. But rest assured, once it's done, I'll update…and if it gets canceled, I'll let you know too.

That is, whoever reads this anymore.

By Unknown with 4 comments