Okay Emo Post.

I guess I shouldn't be writing this.

Lately me and Farra have been going out a lot. Our last date was last night, and the date before that was the night before. I'm not complaining; the only complaint I have is that we're not together for every waking second. I really miss her when she's not there. Am I being incredibly needy and clingy? Yes, I suppose. I'm sorry, I just love her so.

But here's the thing. The more I love her the more I grow insecure. The more I see her as completely perfect, the absolute one for me, the more I feel like I'm not worthy. It's as if at any moment she'll see what a horrible choice she's made in loving me and will immediately seek out somebody who's more worth her time. I don't want that, yet what can I do? I'm really afraid of losing her. Even when there's no immediate threat. I don't want to lose her.

Ah, I'm rambling. This is stupid. Okay I'mma shut up now.

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Good Night, Sweet Prince

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Okay fair warning: My mind is kinda all over the place and my heart is...well, in Setia Alam. So sorry if this doesn't come across as entirely coherent.

Okay as most of my friends know I drive a red BMW all over the place. What most of my friends probably don't know is that I now used to drive a red BMW.

The vehicle in question.

 So I say used to drive now because it's been sold. Yes, the iconic signature vehicle of the Teejmeister has been sold off. Yesterday, in fact. The car is no longer in the lot.

 

Not pictured: Sadness.

Okay I get that it's an old car, and it requires almost as much attention as a dying man in ICU to even run properly, but you'll forgive the car-shaped hole in my heart and for some reason Farra's 'The Parking Lot Is Empty' bumrushing my head. It wasn't my first car, but it was the one I'd driven the longest. All throughout CUCMS too.

And through more than a few parking lots. Which are empty.

Ah, the faint nostalgia. A lot of fond memories in the car. Most of them, I'm not at liberty to say.

View from one side of the memories...

View from the other.

My dear sweetie also had to choke back sobs of grief at the news that some dude had purchased the rights to dear old Bubub (her pet name for the car). And speaking of my baby, while clearing out the car I realised just how much of the stuff inside is her stuff. If leaving stuff in a man's personal space is marking her territory, then it's no wonder she's the only chick who's ever been in there.

So sweet :-) She made these for the car.

Ahem. So about the car. It's a BMW, red, handles okay, lacks acceleration, it's a...318? I dunno, man, details.

'Nuff said.

Ah well it's been fun. So now I'm driving my sister's Myvi around, it handles slightly less but accelerates like a mutha. That's a temporary set-up until I get my new car. Hopefully we can make more memories inside it.

View from the HUD.

And there you have it. A pretty crappy euology, but aside from the memories associated with it, it's a pretty crappy car. Only thing that sold it was it was an antique, of sorts. New owner's going to modify it, pimp it right the fuck up. Good luck with that. Just take care of it and I'll be happy.

EDIT: I totally forgot to mention. Farra has always expressed a desire to drive Bubub for as long as I can remember, but I never let her due to her not having a license. Well she got hers recently, and I went full 180 on my stance on her driving; I wanted her to drive, really badly. But we kept putting it off, until the night before when we had a short date. On the way back, I handed her the keys and let her drive. It was an exhilarating experience, and a really touching and sweet moment; that the car's last moment was with the girl I loved. I regret not having a clear picture of her in the driver's seat. Well, the new car's first experience shall be of her driving. That, I hope, can come true.

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