The Writing Process

My bro Zufar has pressured me to update more often, but for the life of me I can't get any writing done, between the exhaustion and class. So here is an update about my futile attempts to write something based on a picture I found (the one above, taken from http://2photo.ru/en/post/16762) while browsing the net. Its more about the writing process than an actual story, so I guess be prepared to read the actual story...some time in the distant future. It's a lot of fantasy, and steampunk, and sci-fi too I think, so, umm, yeah.

MY ATTEMPT TO WRITE A STORY BASED ON A PICTURE

Step 1: Describing the picture.

Okay…well, there’s this half naked chick that is wearing only a loincloth as if boobs aren’t vulgar. The emotion I get (apart from arousal) is that she’s trying to survive, as if she’s the only human on the island (don’t know why I’d think that, but let’s go with it). I got the impression she’s not exactly a tribal girl, again no idea why, but has been forced to survive after finding herself stranded in god knows where the hell this is.

Why is she naked? Fuck if I know. Maybe her clothes were too unwieldy, or noisy? Okay, so she was wearing a huge dress that made running in the jungle a total bitch. Right, let’s go with that. But why is she, y’know, here? Shipwreck, train wreck? Is she A SUPERHERO THAT GAINS HER POWERS WHILE NAKED? (Seriously, the arousal is starting to get in the way of creativity.) For some reason ‘cast out’ seems to be lodging itself firmly in my head. But why is she cast out? Is she a SUPERHERO HARLOT? Okay, that’s getting too far, so let’s forget the whole why she’s here angle for a minute.

She’s standing in front of a deer she just killed, as if guarding her prey. Okay, that’s good. She’s also heel deep in a creek, running from an open cave. Right, sure. BUT THERE IS ALSO A FRAKKIN ROBOT STANDING ON A LEDGE THAT IS ABOUT TO ATTACK HER. A ROBOT WITH HUGE, RED, BEADY EYES.

Here the questions arise more often than not, about the ROBOT. What the fuck is a robot doing here? Where did it come from? Why does it look like its trying to take the deer away from her? Do robots eat meat? DO ROBOTS EVEN EAT?

From the existence of the robot we can deduce that the world is not, in fact, a jungle wasteland but actually a technological wonder, except that there’s a huge jungle somewhere for Jane here to get feral in. There’s another evidence for that: Jane’s knife. It looks exceptionally well made, so we can assume she had it with her when she got lost, but that raises more questions than it answers. It answers that yes, Jane certainly was from civilization but got lost, but what the hell is she doing with a Rambo knife? IN A DRESS?

Step 2: Making sense of my own ramblings.

So apparently, Jane has been lost to civilization for a while and has to turn feral to survive. I’ve decided she has been outcast for dabbling in magic (shut up, I’m going somewhere with this) and now lives in the wilds as a sort of hermit. Apparently, she lives in a society that abhors magic as being ee-vill, and embraces technology, which she hates, hence her banishment. However, technology refuses to give up its grasp on her, as pictured above by her encounter with the murderous cyborg.

So what happens next? What does the cyborg want, and what effects does its attack have on plucky little Jane? Actually, scratch cyborg: that’s obviously an android. A killer android. A KILL-DROID.

Oooh! Inspiration! As it turns out, the KILL-DROID isn’t a kill droid, but, um, a FIND DROID, as in SOMEBODY’S TRYING TO FIND HER! FOR HIS OWN NEFARIOUS PLANS!

Okay that’s dumb.

Dammit, James Cameron! For all of five seconds I thought my ‘FIND-DROID FIND UNOBTANIUM, ENCOUNTERS HOT BITCH INSTEAD’ idea was original. Now I’ll never tell my tale of android-feral woman love.

Okay, how about this? Find-Droid find unobtanium, encounters Jane instead, subsequently is ripped apart by Jane. Video feed to superiors, who are shocked to find Jane still alive, and subsequently plan a manhunt. Womanhunt. Babe-wearing-loincloth-with-boobs-dangling-all-over-jungle-hunt.

That is…much worse.

Okay new theory. We’re going to go with KILL-DROID now. But what is he trying to kill, a frakkin DEER? No, of course not, it’s gotta be there to kill HER. But why, frakk it? The hell did she do, rob it, slept with its dad and fingered its second cousin FIND-DROID? Or maybe not to kill HER, but somebody else?

Hey wait. She’s standing in front of a cave. THERE’S SOMEBODY IN THE CAVE! LIKE…umm…TARZAN! Okay maybe not Tarzan, but ANOTHER CASTOUT! Outcast, sorry. AND KILL DROID IS TRYING TO KILL HIM, BUT SHE’S NOT GUARDING THE DEER, BUT HIM!

Damn I’m good. No idea why dude deserves death though, aside from robbery, rape and fingering FIND-DROID.

FIND DROID. FINE DROID. Heheh. I think I'm terribly funny.

Seriously though, why does whoever she’s guarding deserve painful death at the hands of a terminaor? Is he John Connor? Christian Bale? The Goddamn Batman? Dammit, all three are the same guy.

Maybe screw Christian Bale. Maybe, Jane is just attacked by a SCOUT DROID, who is on recon for his masters (later, later). She sees scout-droid as a perfect means to get back to society, and reintegrates with no problem. But this only works if she was lost, instead of being, y’know, cast out for being a witch.

OF COURSE! Recon Droid here is just the reconnaissance for a huge droid army from another nation, amassing to attack her homeland. Harnessing her resentment, she tracks down the droid army, and offers to help them with her witchcraft to get back at the society that so wrongfully punished her, in exchange for being left alone. But this completely changes the story into sci-fi. DAMN!

Actually, the robots entire existence turns the whole thing into sci-fi. Saying it’s a golem instead of a robot is a huge cop-out, methinks. BUT WHY IS THE ROBOT THERE, AND WHAT DOES IT WANT? AND HOW DOES THIS CHANGE THINGS FOR JANE?

Step 3: Character Motivations…oh wait, I’m doing that right now.

Jane, apparently, either wants to be left alone or get revenge, or defend Christian Bale. The robot is trying to either kill Jane, kill Christian Bale, find Unobtanium or scout the area for the droid army.

I’VE GOT IT! The robot is a recon droid, and after killing it (killing robots?) she wonders how the hell the Tevinter Imperium (whoops, wrong universe) got droids, much less droids so far away from where they’re supposed to be. She traces its tracks and finds a huge droid army! About to invade her motherland! Torn now between duty and her resentment (at being cast out), she now decides to either help the Imperium of Man (I’m doing it again) or standing by and laughing at the wreckage. She decides to warn them, both because she still wishes she could be a part of society again but also because the droids are going to wreck her jungles if she stands by and does nothing.

Yay! A story that sucks only half as bad as the earlier versions. Maybe John Connor will make an appearance, maybe not.

So that means the society is only partly advanced…which can only mean one thing. STEAMPUNK! Man I love steampunk.

Step 4: Short Summary.

The Towalyn Imperium is a nation that is slowly moving to abolish sorcery and witchcraft, on the grounds that it is dangerous and lawless, and causes all sorts of evil shit to happen on a daily basis. Power needs to be controlled, regulated, and magic users tend to NOT like being controlled, and anyway there is no way to control magic users aside from offering their souls liberation from the mortal coil, unlike technology, which the Imperium embraces like a dead sailor to a rock. Dying..dying sailor to a rock, goddamn. This leads to our heroine…uh, Jane…Janet…Jan… JULISSA! Julissa, um…Aenedia…Julissa Aenedia! Yes, Julissa Aenedia is cast out into the, um, Korcari Wilds? No…eh, cast out into the forest for being a witch (Malpai Forest! Okay, we got a name). Okay not really cast out into the forest, but she was banished and nowhere else would accept witches, so she hides in the forest, turning feral and attempting to live out her life in exile as best she can.

Now, one day, while hunting, she is discovered by a recon droid for the massive droid army from the nearby nation of…Ferelden…um, the CIS? No…eh, nearby nation of Ameldaria (the name just came off the top of my head) that wants to invade the Imperium. She decides to help the Imperium against her better judgement, for some reason I’ll think of later. Action ensues.

Step 5: Actually write the thing.

Actually I’m tired, I’ll write it later.

By Unknown with 4 comments